Sunday, March 18, 2007

Saturday, 17th March 2007.

I had my car washed today, now.. clean n clear.. was in 1U today to watch 300 with Allen, Glenn, Ashwin, Snoop Dogg, Midz, Daryl n' Damon. Had some kinda teatime with Ash at waffle world, just to see Benny Tan Kah Hoon!!! passing by. My blardi ex which i've never seen for the past 4 years. Thank God I didn't break down like how i used to. I saw him held a girl's hand and oh yes, I must admit that I am glad .. with wat i saw. She wasn't pretty, and i meant, not even a single bit. I think my muka also more pass then her. Allen said I kutuk kao kao.. and that's coz she's not puji-able. heh! Benny, didn't get any better either. damn. am i just being sour grape? I don';t know. Fuck it. It's just benny anyway. Screw it.

Anyway, 300 was.. a ... disappointment! well, at least to me. I expected better! The computer graphics that's being used... is so... COMPUTER-ED! at least.. make la some graphic which doesnt look so FAKE! It was so graphic-ed that it looked so damn fake. Pretty slow and ok story but too many creatures around. geez. ok, i shall stop kutuking before I'm being kutuk here. lol.

Went to hartamas square for dinner while watching MU, with them scoring 4-1. Went to Kelvin's gig just to miss his performance. damn.

den mamaking.. den balik.. den tido.. and fucking work for blardi hong leong tmr.. unpaid fyi. 10-8. fuck.

good nite.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Tick Tock Tick Tock ...

Sound of a ticking clock, a human clock that moves so fast in time and that I've gone through 23 years and 3 months of life. All in a glimpse of an eye... from a kid, to a kindergarthen girl, to a primary school librarian, to a stubborn high school girl, to a bubbly uni girl and now a working woman with nothing but a lifeless job. I was driving back from work today as I heard over the radio a malay song.. sang by God-knows-who but it was about the past days.

Going back to my primary school days.. it was the best time ever where I don't have to think anything. All I need to know is UPSR is in Std 6 and that's pretty much about it. Don't hafta worry bout job, relationship, friendship.. all's there with no worries. I used to hang out so much with Rae that even the bus man thought I moved! We did stupid stuff which till now I find it stupid. I'd get down the bus with her at her house, we have lunch at her place.. den we lepak in her room. We'll take a tape recorder.. and we record our voices with stupid tones and animal sounds. Then, we'll play it over and over again and laugh. Bout 4pm, Rae will walk me back to my house...with her cycling la. We did that almost everyday and not get bored of it. On Mondays, we'll go for our persatuan thingy.. where we'd go to ching's house to wait for the time for the persatuan thingy. And there's where Ching's dog actually chased me all around the house til up the chair. heh. i'll never forget that. We'd did lotsa stuff, playing swing in ching's house.. it's all our childhood, our worry-free childhood life.

Highschool was a good memory too. Runnign out of school during school hours with the staffroom located at the front door was a challenge which we managed to escaped for the years in highschool. As we moved on to uni, life was still as sweet as honey. All we need to do is study and prepare for exam. It all ended 4 years later. Where we all stepped into the working world.

Working world.. that's where my worries all started. Sometimes I felt so vulnerable, so easily being harm and so open to any sorts of hurtful event. Perhaps I did a mistake coming to KL for a 1K basic pay job. But I'd thought I'd get a better one as I strive here, but my thoughts did let me down till to date. Looking at others achieving and excelling in their jobs, do made me have a green eye. How do I excel when I'm not given a chance? I looked for it, but no opportunities given or may I say, no luck was there. I was never lucky in life. Be it job, relationship, family and all those shites, I was never lucky. At times, I feel like giving up, I feel like let everything go, I feel so fucking down. Which part of life have I ever succeded? Career? still as unstable as a small boat in a big sea. Relationship? None was proper and none gave me the security but only problems and not even being a single bit serious. Think I wanan hop r'ship? No, I don't. Think I wanna hop job? No, I fucking don't. I'm tired. Very very tired. I wanna break down but I don't know where to. Anyone really knows my problem? I'd say nobody. Nobody actually knows what I'm goign through, nobody knows what i'm feeling. What everybody see is the outside of me. Nobody knows me, not my family, not my friends.

I really wish I could turn back the clock, going back to my past life. No worries at all. Nothing to think of. No career to think of and no relationship to think of. At least I wont' be so broken apart inside. Why must time pass by so fast? Why must we only have 365 days in a year? Why is there only 24 hours in a day? I don't wanna go on with this life, not in this way.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

* N D R * N * Y * *

Wanna buy a vowel? A E I O U. I guess this is sorta like a revenge post. damn. Ever since i Left KMDC, some colleagues there went tru hell. Some stil there, some not there anymore. To my suprise when I paid a visit today that it's left with only 4 employees in KL sentral office. Let me spell that out for you.. 4, F O U R, FOUR, four!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can u blif it?

Vowels need to be bought at the top coz names aren't suppose to be mentioned in blogs or I might get sued like how jeff got sued. geez. So, this bitch aka female dog is really a pain in the ass. A fucking asshole bastard. Now pushing all things to Ali to handle her fuckign job while she doesnt know a shit about it. Ask her to administer, i think she'd rather choose to hang herself. fucked up bitch. Beyond words description. Damn.

I've never seen someone being paid so well and not doing a single shit and still remain in the company while others get sacked due to restructuring. I salute her on her she plays her cards well.. or maybe... hehe.. OVERslept with someone? geez. I dont wanna imagine. Her sleeping with either one of them? geez. if that's true, they'd had really really and I meant REALLY bad taste.

I believe her day will come.. well, someday. When she's out of cards to play with. perhaps, she'll start playin with joker and make her whole life a joke. damn. She's a bitch that controls her husband when her husband is the one bringin in the bucks for her fucking shopaholic attitude. Just hopefuly her husband would go fuck someone else, blardi divorce her and him winning the custody over the children. At the same time, her fucking attitude get realised by some of those idiots sitting top there now (who aren't realising her fuckign attitude for some fucking donkey years) , eventually, get her sacked out of the company. THat's the day she has nothing at all and that's the day i'll call her to congratulate her. Anyway, that's what she deserved.

Infact, that's considered lil as compared to how she actually tortured people. Even a 2-week employee in the company sees her attitude, I don't see a reason why the people above dont? Are they really blinded? Or are they pretending to be blind? Or are they being accidentally overslept with? I don't know. You do the maths.

Thursday, March 01, 2007


I feel like a fucking looser! I just screwed up in my BAT interview, did a small mistake, which I felt is kinda big n affecting the whole damn thing. Now, I really really feel like fuck! damnit!

I'll get my answer tomorrow from Amit, all I can do now is pray for the best. I fucking want a marketing job and it's damn fucking hard to get one. Screening after screening, stages after stages, and i screwed it up in the 3rd stage.

Even worst, when had a small chat with Amit before my interview, he told me.. they usually take people with CGPA of 3.2 and above. I was like.. wtf? I'm 3.14! damn! But, he told, yesterday.. out of the 8 interviewees, only 3 got tru.. and a guy with 3.8 got eliminated too.

BAT !!!

I've got a call from Amit of BAT today at 5.45pm and he required me to go for an interview at 11am tomorrow morning, really short notice. geez. but I would still make it! Needed to leave HLBB badly and get a proper marketing job in a proper company. BAT is really really tough to get in.. and stages.. bukan main banyak berlambak lagi!

Stage 1 : English and Mathematical Test

Stage 2 : Phone Interview

Stage 3 : Interview with Recruitment and Line Manager (tomorrow)

Stage 4 : Group discussion (case study and all)

Stage 5 : Interview with another manager

If I'm not mistaken that's the flow for stage 4 and 5. Hopefuly I do well tomorrow and I will keep my post updated on my status!

*pray for me!!!*