Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Life, A Series of Drama

Don't you think life's a drama? or will it be more like a game, is it how u play it? I personally think that life's a set of drama that sometimes fall in our control but most of the time it does not. It's way out of our control. We think that we are capable of controlling it but the fact is that we failed to control it and we do not wanna admit our mistakes. We sometimes think that we are strong freaks living in our own world and that we are in control of our lives. No, we are not.

When you think that you are doing the right thing, it turns out to be wrong. When you think you're with the right person, it turns out to be so wrong. When you think you've stepped your foot into somewhere right, it turns out to be somewhere you do not wanna be at too. At times, we just take for granted on what gonna happen in the future and we only care bout what is now. That's when the phrase comes, enjoy now, suffer later.

Life, for me, has been a complete set of drama with ups and downs, with tears and laughter, with happiness and pains. The first phase of my life, the childhood life which was pretty much perfect with a dad and mum ruined when my mum passed away in 1991 when i was only bout 7+. The end of chapter 1. And my life moved on living with my both aunties and I am grateful to say that I have them. Without them, I don't know really where will I be now. And life went on till I finally ended Std6. That's the end of another chapter and the beginning of a whole new chapter.

I got into SMBB which I practically hated coz my dad was there. Finally gotten myself into St. David's High which I was really delighted but I was thrown into the 10th class. FYI, there was bout 12 classes of form1 in my sch last time. There was like... berlambak students. I was moved to the 3rd class coz 1st n 2nd class is fully occupied by straight As students. And things went on happily and in form4 we had the floating class. It practically means we do not have a class. All we do is hop n jump to empty classes to have our class. It's fun actually. :) and then came the SPM year which i practically had LOTS of fun. I played truant, i ran out from school, i fought with teachers, i fought with SU KIN. lol. I was so carefree and there's nothing for me to worry and think about. Relationship at that time? Never even came to my mind. Till SPM is over, that's the end of the high school chapter.

Studies in MMU was quite fun too with my bunch of frenz, pig, tat, melia, mien. :) we did crazy stuff, we sang BSB song al the way back from Auyin Hill. I know it sounds pathetic, but seriously it was fun. It was the company that playes the major role. :) I finally graduated and that was the end of my uni life.

And bam, I got into the fucking working life. A beginning of a bumpy journey which I'm still fighting in now. A journey that's so bumpy that I couldnt even find a proper highway for me to get on! And after all these chapters and being at this stage now, I feel so useless and pissed with my life. I thought of my life in alot of aspects, from family to work to relationship. And I dont find any of them i ever had a smooth journey before. I really wished that I could turn back the clock and I wanna be in high school forever. I miss the life back then bcoz I dont feel burden on my back, i dont feel pressure on myself that I have to do something with my life.

But I've decided to put things behind me. To put all the failure and all the memories that breaks me down behind me. I will proceed with my life and what's over is over. I have to fucking get on my gears and look at the better future. I don't wanna be hanging and clinging over the clift unsure if I'll fall down or someone will save me. I have to save myself because I know, there's no one there to save me.

10 comments:

^PuRpLe BuTtErFlY^ said...

we have to leave the past and look ahead to the future...we must move on together with time as time do not wait and it will never turn back...every second only will happen once in our entire life...therefore we shall choose to live happily and treasure the golden moments...change the negative thoughts over as every negative thoughts could be turned into an opportunity to learn...always bare in mind that time will pass no matter we are happy or not, so why choosed to live unhappily whereas we could enjoy and appreciate things around us...memories that have past will never return again, so put them in your memory box and rememeber them for life!!the ups and downs of our life is determined by God, it's true...but we are the player who's gonna play the game made by God...every thing happened for a reason...be patient my friend and be positive so that good karma will come by!!

** stella ** said...

thanx melia. me trying :)

Gary said...

i fought with su kin oso...LOL :p

** stella ** said...

heh? which gary is this?

Gary said...

gary from st david lar... aiseh...

** stella ** said...

gary lee ah?
the gary as in gary in McD ah? lol!
must be specific ma. haha

** stella ** said...

gary lee ah?
the gary as in gary in McD ah? lol!
must be specific ma. haha

gary said...

yalah... haha...
i know i 1st time commenting on ur blog...dun la be so surprise... :))

** stella ** said...

lol! mestilah suprised! whahaa..
bila nak yam char?
we've got 3 flers up to work d! haha

gary said...

suke hati u la... i got no problem ;)