Friday, March 13, 2009

A Plagiarized Drama
- courtesy of Khoo Hou Haw

Long long Time Ago, In An Airport Juah-Juah Away...
It was a cozy Saturday morning. Since Ryan is suppose to fly to China for a contract work and Jolyn hasn't move into my house yet, I was taking my time enjoying this peaceful morning on my bed... Suddenly, ring... ring... Who the fuck is that...? Ryan Lee calling?
Picking up my phone...

Ryan : SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
HH : Huh? What What happened?
Ryan : SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
HH : What HAPPENED LAH!
Ryan : SHIT! My friend PPK me! He's suppose to send me to LCCT but until now I still cannot get him! SHIT!
HH : Where're you now? Alamak!
Ryan : I'm on my way to KL Sentral station, can you come and fetch me to LCCT? SHIT! SHIT!
HH : OK OK!

Putting down my phone, I immediately jumped from my bed, brushed my teeth, changed my shirt, combed my hair, (all done in 5 seconds) and shot out to KL Sentral in my Supercar with Superman speed & Fast & Furious style...
half way through... phone rang

Ryan : Where are YOU!!!
HH : Coming! Coming!
Ryan : Wei! Faster lah! I'm reaching KL Sentral already!
HH : OK, OK! Cool down man! I'm almost reaching light speed liao! What time is your flight?
Ryan : 12:45pm! SHIT!
HH : WTF!!! Now is already 11:40! You think can make it?!
Ryan : Aiya! Faster lah, don't talk so much!

Following this were numerous times of "Where are you!" & "Coming! Coming!" calls - Skip that!

Finally Ryan was in my car. After all the langgar red lights and illegal U-turns, we finally broke out from the KL traffic jam and reach the highway...

Ryan : I think cannot make it already...
HH : Ya... that's why we learnt how to read the clock in primary school...
Ryan : Shit! How to explain this to my client.....
HH : Just tell them the truth lor...
Ryan : You think they will believe it?...
HH : Up to you lor...
Ryan : Or should I tell them my car broke down half way...
HH : You think they will believe it?...this excuse very old school ler...
Ryan : Up to them lor...Yalor... very old school excuse...

Reaching LCCT at 12:15, as expected... couldn't make it.
So, Ryan called his client... and started to do what we've been rehearsaled in the car - old school excuse + suara kesian of Ryan.
It works! His client agreed to pay for him the second flight ticket. So, Ryan bought the ticket of 1:30 flight. He was so relief that he don't have to bear the flight ticket, and was smiling tak habis-habis there.

Ryan : Come, we go McD to have our lunch, I belanja!
HH : Ok

Sitting down there, we were relaxingly taking our lunch and chatting there. When it is about time I parted with Ryan to go back my car. When I was out from LCCT, phone rang again... Rayn Lee calling...
Picking up...

Ryan : SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
HH : Huh? What What happened?
Ryan : SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
HH : What HAPPENED LAH!
Ryan : SHIT! I can't BELIEVE it! I missed the flight AGAIN! SHIT! SHIT!
HH : WHAT!!!? AGAIN!!!? FUCKING TWICE!!!?
Ryan : I can't believe it... i can't believe it... i can't believe... (sounds like mumbering to himself already...)
HH : HEY! I'm turning back now! Wait for me! Don't do anything stupid!
Ryan : shit... i can't believe it...shit... (still mumbering to himself)
HH : Wait for me! Coming now!

Reach LCCT again, park my car beside the road, rush to the entrance... I saw Ryan standing there holding his suitcase...
His eyes were soulless... his body was like half melted already... and his surrounding has been greyed out and moving in slow motion...

HH : Hey... you ok?
Ryan : shit... i can't believe it... shit... how can I explain this to my client again... shit... what happened to me...shit...
HH : (very carefully...) how you...missed the flight...again...?
Ryan : I'm suppose to check in 45 min earlier. Yet, I was taking my time eating McD and surf net somemore...
HH : I think you should call your client again...you know...explain to them...
Ryan : How the fuck should I tell them? I missed the flight again? Will they believe it?
HH : Well... it just happened... I can be your witness.
Ryan : Shit, even myself can't believe this?

Again, after few rehearsal, Ryan called his client again - guess what? They accept this! They must have know Ryan well enough to know that this thing can actually happened to him...

So, we bought the flight ticket on the next day morning, since no more flight available on that day already... and Ryan have to pay for himself this ticket...

Getting my car... I saw a summon coupon on my car and a policeman standing beside it. Shit! Illegal parking!

HH : sorry boss...
Police : U punya road tax sudah expired lah.
HH : (Alamak! Forgotten, my road tax just expired and I'm suppose to renew it on Monday!)
HH : boss, macam mana ni...
Police : Ini offence besar ni, kena issue summon. Kasi IC dan driving lesen.

Policeman took my IC and straight away issued a summon already! This is the first policeman in my entire life that didn't ask for rasuah! End up I have to pay for my summon, then have to come back to Sepang to attend the police court for not renewing my road tax...

Inside the car...

Ryan : What a day...
HH : Ya... What a day...
Ryan : I will never forget today...
HH : Ya... I will never forget today...
Ryan : ...
HH : ...
HH : Hey, you think we can report this to Malaysia BOLEH Record?
Ryan : Fuck you... hehehe
HH : ... you think we can break this record again tomorrow?
Ryan : FUCK YOU!!!


Continuation Upon Reaching China


Long long Time Ago, In An Airport Lagi Juah-Juah Away...

The plane was flying on the sky of China... One happy man was enjoying this comfortable flight. Although a lot had happened on the previous day, Ryan felt like the worst had happened in his life... from now on, nothing else bad will come close to that...

Reaching the Airport of Zhuhai, China, Ryan was walking alone with his luggage going out from the airport. His welcoming crowd was no longer there... and he had to make it to the hotel by himself.

Suddenly, one chinese middle-age man approached him. (from now on we call him chinapek)

Chinapek (in mandarine): Where are you going, sir?
Ryan (in his broken mandarine): I'm going to the Zhuhai Hotel.

Ryan showed him the photo of the Hotel on his handphone which he took his own sweet time to googled and downloaded at the LCCT McD.

Chinapek : No problem, just follow me.

Chinapek grabbed Ryan's luggage from his hand and started to walk away already. Ryan had no choice but to follow him.

Ryan : Where's your car?
Chinapek : Not far, not far, just around here.

But after some distants of walking, Ryan still hasn't see any taxi around. And they were walking to a kampung area already, with a lot of chinapek sitting beside the road, looking at him... weirdly...

Something is not right!...Ryan thought to himself...What does he want from me?...Is he going to rob my luggage, rape me, murder me, then sell my organs...?! I must run away now! But my luggage is still with the chinapek! My precious MacBook is inside it!!! How!!!

Then they reached a small lorong...

Chinapek : My friend is a taxi driver, he's staying in here, we go in and get him.
Ryan (pretending to be relax...) : No problem, I'll take a cigarette here and wait, you go and get him first.

So, chinapek left his luggage there (Ryan : yes!!!), and walked inside the lorong by himself. Ryan quietly looking at the chinapek walking until he turned into a corner...

Threw away his cigarette! Grabbed his luggage! Keeping his head down, Ryan immediately ran as fast as he could! While all the other chinapek still sitting there watching quietly as this man running away like a rabbit...

Running past a corner... walau Holy-God!!! There was a real taxi coming towards him. Quickly stopped and jumped into that taxi, and showed the driver again the hotel photo... I want to go Zhuhai Hotel!

Ok! Reply the driver. Then he started to drive already... wait, no!!! He's driving to the road Ryan just escaped from...!!! He could see he was going towards the lorong and the chinapek was coming out from there.........

(Camera changed angle)

The chinapek came out and found out his rabbit was no longer there... There was a taxi driving past him with no one inside the car...

Back to inside the taxi...

Ryan was hiding under the level of the window as the taxi drove past the chinapek...

2 comments:

miss m said...

omg..

SERIOUSLY?!

** stella ** said...

lol.

it's ryan :p